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Help me be NOT poor.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Wins & Losses.

This has been a good week that has had a couple of downturns.

1 of my 3 job leads died with a rejection email 2 days before I was to attend that company's open house hiring event. 

I went anyway, and had a pretty good in person interview this afternoon. So maybe that counts as a save.

I thought my interview for the technical writer position went pretty well, but the guy was pleasant enough that he was a little hard to read. I'm supposed to hear back on all 3 jobs by Monday.

I came home tonight to discover the people I'm staying with have grown tired of my presence. My best friend's girlfriend really laid into me about doing more chores. As mad as she was, I was equally confused when I pressed her for specifics and she came up with only a couple anecdotes. It probably didn't help that she was drunk. 

This was a pretty big low and just happened. I feel trapped. I wanted to defend myself, but how? They rent this house and I'm the guest, so I'm obligated to do whatever they say(within reason, of course).  But she didn't give specifics. She just said, 'going forward, just try to help more.'

'With what? What specifically have you asked me to do, that I refused? What specific things do you want me to do that I don't do already?'

Just do more to show appreciation, she basically said.  I need to guess what they want done and do it.  Apparently, trash, dishes, feeding the cats, and vacuuming the small bit of carpet in the living room wasn't it, because I already do that.

I feel so trapped. They can ask me to leave at any time and I really have nowhere to go. I could stay at my sister's house, but not my cat... not most of my possessions that I have here.

I wasn't expecting this, although I did sense a distance between us. I do empathize to a certain extent.  They work all day, come home, and there I sit.  It's not like I'm protesting... I have no job... no money to go out and do things.

I really need something to happen for me with 1 of these 3 jobs. I want the technical writer position the most, but that's here in Cincinnati, which means more awkward evenings at my friend's home until I have a place of my own.  It would almost be better to get one of the Columbus jobs so I can be out of this house.  It's the most terrible feeling to be unwanted, especially when you can't just fuck off and go to your own apartment.

I need more money, regardless of the job I get.  All 3 opportunities start 2 weeks from now. Even if they pay weekly, I wouldn't see my 1st check for 2 weeks after I start. That means, even if I get 1 of those 3 jobs, I won't get paid until October.  I don't have enough money to last until then.  I'll need more than I currently have for gas alone.  So if anyone can donate, I'd really appreciate it.  

Hopefully, this week will end on a positive note.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Fffffffffffffffffff.........

So frustrated right now...

Another seemingly solid job lead has dissolved, just as another promising job lead emerges. I should be happy to have a new opportunity, but this has been happening for months.

Last week, I was certain I would at least have 1 job offer this week, but this week, I ended up with none.  Next week I fully (perhaps, fooly) expect at least 1 job offer.

In June, as I was staring at an empty refrigerator and an empty wallet, I debated the offer to leave my apartment to stay with a friend because I was certain I was close to getting a position.

I wasn't.

People respond to my plight as if I'm lazy. I'm not.  I was raised hauling in firewood, and shoveling hog manure since I was in the 5th grade.

I'm not good at the easiest to get jobs. Perhaps the catalyst responsible for me starting Poor Blog was when I went to work at Amazon a couple years ago to get off of unemployment.  I knew it would be hard, but I had to do something.  I was so bad at the grueling warehouse work that after two days, I was laid up, unable to stand, other than to slowly and painfully shuffle my feet, for two days.  I wasn't lazy, I was terrible at that sort of work.

People keep suggesting things in the key of 'why don't you just...' and you can fill in the blanks with serving, cooking, and other restaurant work. What those people never believed or listened to was that I did apply for those types of jobs and never made it past the interview. I'm always amazed at people that can just go out and get one of those jobs in a couple days and start the next week.  If I got the dishwasher job or the chicken restaurant job, I probably wouldn't have done much better than I fared at Amazon.  I could suffer through hard, physical labor when I was younger, but now, I'm just too terrible at it and my back and feet are too weak.

So even if I were hired for one of those jobs(and I have applied for them), I probably wouldn't last very long.  Instead, I try to look for work that compliments my skill set.

I find good positions in chunks. Usually, there is a job I really want, but my skills may be a little low and my prospects aren't as high. Another job fits my skills well even though I wouldn't prefer that work as well as other types of work.  A third job is some customer service type job that I have done a version of in the past and that I'm a mortal lock for, I perceive as a fallback position if the other two fall through. Then, all three positions fall apart.

This has happened several times since January; it may be happening now.

I hope not.

I lost the Sam Adams position and the same temp agency that sent me to that interview, called me about the opportunity at Sugar Creek Packing.  I didn't know this at the time, but they already knew I wasn't getting the Sam Adams job when they called about the Sugar Creek job.  I only found out after my Sugar Creek interview, when I called Lab Support to follow up on the Sam Adams job. Today, Lab support called to talk about a lab tech position they thought I would be interested in. Suspicious, I asked about the Sugar Creek job, and sure enough, they already knew I wasn't getting it.  When did they plan to tell me?

I had a good interview for a call center job in Columbus yesterday and earlier this week I applied for another Columbus call center position.  The former could be viewed as the safety pick, the fallback choice.  I have an interview next week for a technical writer position here in Cincinnati as well as an open house in Columbus for that second call center job.

I would love to get the technical writer job, but even more than that, I would love to not have all my job leads fall apart.

I had a few big donations last week, but that is all going toward gas, food, car insurance and rent for my possessions sitting in Public Storage.  If anyone reading this hasn't donated and wants to, or knows of someone who can donate, please donate or pass along the link to this blog.  Even if I get hired next week, I'll still need money to get by until I get my first check.  Every little bit helps.

Thank you.


Sunday, August 16, 2015

Drained.

It's been a draining week.

As annoyed as many probably were at my non-stop fundraising and E-panhandling, it took a bit out of me, to the point I feel completely drained, emotionally.  Asking for help feels inherently submissive to begin with, but asking for donations is just extra sad.

I did get a few donations. My sincerest thanks to those who donated.  I really am broke and I need gas and food to get my through until I get hired and receive my 1st paycheck.  I had an interview w/ Sam Adams here in Cincinnati a week and a half ago. I thought it went well, but it could be at least another week until I hear back from them. Last week, I drove all the way up to Columbus to take a skills test for a customer service position in a call center for a utilities company.  I should find out this week if I get invited back for an interview.  Tomorrow, I have an interview with Sugar Creek Packing Co. in Fairfield, on the northern end of Greater Cincinnati.  I figure I have a good shot at that job(QA) and then I have the call center job to fall back on if Sugar Creek doesn't hire me.  Of course, it's possible that nobody hires me.

The QA job would probably start the next week, which means I may get paid in as few as 3 weeks, but the call center job, if hired, doesn't even begin until Sept. 14th, so I won't even see a paycheck until October in that scenario... plus, I'll have to drive 100 miles and stay with family during each week until I have enough money to move.

I'll be happy if I get hired, but unfortunately, I may need a little bit more money to get by, even if I get hired.

Any donations appreciated, but I understand if you can't or won't.  I also found out that I am legally considered homeless.  I'm staying with a friend, but that is only meant to be temporary.  I guess it's just a label, but it really is a reality check that I have no place of my own.  Hopefully, I have good news this week.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Out Of Time.

Last week was my last unemployment payment, it turns out.  I'm not a great saver to begin with and the benefit payments went to car insurance, cell phone, food, and gas.


I was hoping that Federal Emergency UI would kick in, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I have a few possibilities, though. I have two job leads through Lab Support; one with Sam Adams that I really want and one with Sugar Creek Packing doing QA.  My third possibility is doing customer service for a utility company in Columbus.  I'm going to run out of money before next month and won't have anything for car insurance, public storage, gas, cell phone, or food.  I already moved out of my apartment in June and I hope my friend I'm staying with doesn't get tired of me.

At this point, I have completely failed at getting a job. I did try, applying for everything from jobs I am qualified for to dishwasher positions, to jobs serving chicken, but trying doesn't guarantee success.  In the end, someone has to say yes.

I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm embarrassed, defeated, broke, and alone. How do I tell the people I stay with that I can no longer afford food?

Even if something materializes next week, I'll probably run out of money before I get paid... and that's IF something happens.

If anyone has anything to donate, you can do so using the PayPal.  If any of you Bootstrappers want to post comments where you tear me down and second guess everything I've done, please don't. I'm already down, don't kick me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

New normal.

My last post featured this pic and it really got no attention. I was demonstrating how little food I had left in my refrigerator, obviously, and I guess readers grew tired of me complaining about being poor.

Of course, my suggestion would be to not read or reply to these posts if that is the case... I mean, it is Poor Blog after all. What did you expect?

That pic was taken on the 6th of June, and by the following Saturday, I had moved out of my apartment.

No longer able to afford rent, I was forced to vacate my apartment.  A friend of mine offered to let me stay with him and his girlfriend at a house they were renting on the West side.

Many of my possessions, I threw away.  What little I decided to keep, is now in a storage unit I'm renting.  The idea is that I can save some of the rent money I would have been paying, so it would be easier to move to wherever I could find appropriate work.

For the time being, this is the new normal.  My job outlook hasn't improved much despite getting help from an executive in the industry.

My connection may have helped me get a phone interview for a position I was really interested in, only to find out in the interview that the job was actually an internship, despite having no mention of an internship in the job description. I was completely humiliated.

I've had a couple other interviews that just evaporated into nothing, even though I thought the interview itself went well.

I hope this doesn't turn into a long term living arrangement. I feel like a third wheel staying with my friend and his girlfriend. They eat out a lot and that cuts into the money I'm saving, but to be fair, it's not like I'm electing to stay behind.

Every crumble beneath my feet in this slow and steady backslide into hopeless poverty has had a dramatic cooling effect on what I used to feel were perfectly reasonable hopes and expectations.

It doesn't seem at all far fetched that someone with my training could get an entry-level job in the food industry in either a marketing capacity or in R&D, but I have had embarrassingly little luck getting past the online application. 

It's not like I'm applying to be some Sr. VP in those departments. My goals seem very reasonable. Yet, every tiny morsel of hope gets stomped out unceremoniously.  I really need to land something I can build on and not another job out of desperation. I need a job I know I can move up in and make a career of, not a job to take until something better comes along. 

I've had too many of those jobs, and the volume of short term employment has only hurt me.  Even the employers of desperation are unwilling to hire me for fear that I'll just leave in a few months.

So that's my update so far. So much has happened, yet so little. I can only hope my next update has better news, but it would be hard to bet on it.

If you have a few bucks and want to donate to the poor(me, I'm the poor), just click on the PayPal button on this blog.  If you just want to leave a comment berating me for my short comings and depress me even further... then you must be a real asshole. Please don't do that. If you still want to help but can't spare a dollar, then post the link to my blog; other people might read it and be able to help.

Thanks,
Sam.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Doesn't poverty look fun?


Aside from a few frozen items, this is what I have for food. I was going to go to a job fair in Columbus, but didn't because I couldn't spare the gas money. Half the items in this picture have long since expired.

If you can donate and want to do so, you can use the PayPal link.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Unsustainable

I'm profoundly sad.

Since I last posted, I have applied for a dizzying array of jobs. Whenever myself or most other people complain about being impoverished or unemployed, a bootstrapper immediately offers the sage advice of 'just get a job' as if it's that easy. 

"Just get any job."

Never mind finding a decent enough job fit so you don't job hop. Never mind finding a job you can physically do, so you don't lie to yourself and talk yourself into a job that is beyond your limits, setting yourself up for failure that leaves you without even the petty amount of unemployment benefits if it doesn't work out.

It's always easy for someone on the outside to dictate someone else's destiny, because there is no risk in what they say, as opposed to what I do.

As my situation grows more desperate, I have casted a larger net, hoping to get something I can do that offers full-time hours.

I have had 3 interviews out of at least 100 applications in the last few months. I interviewed for a driver/concierge position. I interviewed for a customer service representative position with Time-Warner Cable. I interviewed for an entry level management position with Raising Cane's chicken finger restaurant. 

I have experience directly related to all three and have been rejected by all three.

"Just get a job"

I'm trying, but I'm also running out of time. I have ten weeks of unemployment left. That should be plenty, but like the West, I'm also experiencing an epic drought.

I had to get a family loan last month to catch up on rent and only be slightly behind on utilities.  By the end of the remaining 10 weeks, I will be a month behind on rent at least, perhaps a month and a half.

It's unsustainable.

If only I would just get a job...

As always, I have a PayPal donate button.  I'm not expecting anything, but maybe I'll get lucky and some rich philanthropist will drop a large sum so I can get an Uber car or move to a different city or at least have a few months of breathing room and maybe a suit to interview in... but I'm not holding my breath.  You hear stories about people getting tons of money on a Go Fund Me or IndieAGoGo campaign, but I didn't get discriminated against(that I know of), and I didn't make some crazy pro-conservative statement that costed me a business. 

I'm just poor. Drop a couple bucks if you want.