So what has changed?
Since my last posting, I left the Crew Transportation driving job I had. I was working 60+ hrs a week just to make $750 -$950 take home every 2 week pay period. The pay was ok, but the hrs sucked, and being on the road so much meant that I spent a lot of money eating on the road. I tried to pack food, but water and granola bars just don't cut it on a consistent basis. I would get home early in the morning and have to go immediately to sleep, so I could get back on the driver's board after 8 hrs.
Also, I was starting to fall asleep at the wheel. PTI, the company I worked for, would talk a lot about being well rested, but their behavior seemed to range from passive aggressive to punitive if you told them you felt too tired.
I couldn't escape the thought that I was going to die doing that job, so I had to make a change.
I now work at a call center that runs customer service for over a dozen companies, including Puma. I only make about $400/week before taxes, but the hours are more manageable.
My goal is still to get a creative job that involves the food industry in either R&D or marketing. I could be an R&D tech, a social media analyst/manager, copywriter, brand cheerleader, et cetera. I know I can do a great job, and it's my passion to contribute ideas relating to food. I really hope there's a place for me out there.
I still have no savings or student loan payments, but at least I'm still treading water...
I have a lot of trouble with ill feelings toward myself. You could say I'm hard to live with and I don't always like having myself as a roommate.
Uninteresting or unrewarding work often leaves me buried under waves of intense sadness. Nothing too serious as of yet, but honestly, if life were as fleeting as a flick of a switch, I'd have been gone years ago.
It's hard to not feel like a complete failure most of the time. I have no family of my own or a girlfriend(not that I could afford one), and the one true goal I have is to find a line of work... a career, that I am happy to do for the rest of my life.
I just want to want to wake up in the morning and not face the day with anxiety. To me, that is no life that I want to live. I guess I'm not a "work to live" kind of person. I want a job I can immerse myself in and play like a video game. I want mental stimulation and the chance to contribute to a larger vision.
Let's hope things go my way in 2015.
On the bright side, my friends got a new couch, meaning they also got an old couch, which they gave to me.
It's a monster 8ft couch, and the first couch I've had in 13 years.