Wins & Losses.

This has been a good week that has had a couple of downturns.

1 of my 3 job leads died with a rejection email 2 days before I was to attend that company's open house hiring event. 

I went anyway, and had a pretty good in person interview this afternoon. So maybe that counts as a save.

I thought my interview for the technical writer position went pretty well, but the guy was pleasant enough that he was a little hard to read. I'm supposed to hear back on all 3 jobs by Monday.

I came home tonight to discover the people I'm staying with have grown tired of my presence. My best friend's girlfriend really laid into me about doing more chores. As mad as she was, I was equally confused when I pressed her for specifics and she came up with only a couple anecdotes. It probably didn't help that she was drunk. 

This was a pretty big low and just happened. I feel trapped. I wanted to defend myself, but how? They rent this house and I'm the guest, so I'm obligated to do whatever they say(within reason, of course).  But she didn't give specifics. She just said, 'going forward, just try to help more.'

'With what? What specifically have you asked me to do, that I refused? What specific things do you want me to do that I don't do already?'

Just do more to show appreciation, she basically said.  I need to guess what they want done and do it.  Apparently, trash, dishes, feeding the cats, and vacuuming the small bit of carpet in the living room wasn't it, because I already do that.

I feel so trapped. They can ask me to leave at any time and I really have nowhere to go. I could stay at my sister's house, but not my cat... not most of my possessions that I have here.

I wasn't expecting this, although I did sense a distance between us. I do empathize to a certain extent.  They work all day, come home, and there I sit.  It's not like I'm protesting... I have no job... no money to go out and do things.

I really need something to happen for me with 1 of these 3 jobs. I want the technical writer position the most, but that's here in Cincinnati, which means more awkward evenings at my friend's home until I have a place of my own.  It would almost be better to get one of the Columbus jobs so I can be out of this house.  It's the most terrible feeling to be unwanted, especially when you can't just fuck off and go to your own apartment.

I need more money, regardless of the job I get.  All 3 opportunities start 2 weeks from now. Even if they pay weekly, I wouldn't see my 1st check for 2 weeks after I start. That means, even if I get 1 of those 3 jobs, I won't get paid until October.  I don't have enough money to last until then.  I'll need more than I currently have for gas alone.  So if anyone can donate, I'd really appreciate it.  

Hopefully, this week will end on a positive note.