Fffffffffffffffffff.........

So frustrated right now...

Another seemingly solid job lead has dissolved, just as another promising job lead emerges. I should be happy to have a new opportunity, but this has been happening for months.

Last week, I was certain I would at least have 1 job offer this week, but this week, I ended up with none.  Next week I fully (perhaps, fooly) expect at least 1 job offer.

In June, as I was staring at an empty refrigerator and an empty wallet, I debated the offer to leave my apartment to stay with a friend because I was certain I was close to getting a position.

I wasn't.

People respond to my plight as if I'm lazy. I'm not.  I was raised hauling in firewood, and shoveling hog manure since I was in the 5th grade.

I'm not good at the easiest to get jobs. Perhaps the catalyst responsible for me starting Poor Blog was when I went to work at Amazon a couple years ago to get off of unemployment.  I knew it would be hard, but I had to do something.  I was so bad at the grueling warehouse work that after two days, I was laid up, unable to stand, other than to slowly and painfully shuffle my feet, for two days.  I wasn't lazy, I was terrible at that sort of work.

People keep suggesting things in the key of 'why don't you just...' and you can fill in the blanks with serving, cooking, and other restaurant work. What those people never believed or listened to was that I did apply for those types of jobs and never made it past the interview. I'm always amazed at people that can just go out and get one of those jobs in a couple days and start the next week.  If I got the dishwasher job or the chicken restaurant job, I probably wouldn't have done much better than I fared at Amazon.  I could suffer through hard, physical labor when I was younger, but now, I'm just too terrible at it and my back and feet are too weak.

So even if I were hired for one of those jobs(and I have applied for them), I probably wouldn't last very long.  Instead, I try to look for work that compliments my skill set.

I find good positions in chunks. Usually, there is a job I really want, but my skills may be a little low and my prospects aren't as high. Another job fits my skills well even though I wouldn't prefer that work as well as other types of work.  A third job is some customer service type job that I have done a version of in the past and that I'm a mortal lock for, I perceive as a fallback position if the other two fall through. Then, all three positions fall apart.

This has happened several times since January; it may be happening now.

I hope not.

I lost the Sam Adams position and the same temp agency that sent me to that interview, called me about the opportunity at Sugar Creek Packing.  I didn't know this at the time, but they already knew I wasn't getting the Sam Adams job when they called about the Sugar Creek job.  I only found out after my Sugar Creek interview, when I called Lab Support to follow up on the Sam Adams job. Today, Lab support called to talk about a lab tech position they thought I would be interested in. Suspicious, I asked about the Sugar Creek job, and sure enough, they already knew I wasn't getting it.  When did they plan to tell me?

I had a good interview for a call center job in Columbus yesterday and earlier this week I applied for another Columbus call center position.  The former could be viewed as the safety pick, the fallback choice.  I have an interview next week for a technical writer position here in Cincinnati as well as an open house in Columbus for that second call center job.

I would love to get the technical writer job, but even more than that, I would love to not have all my job leads fall apart.

I had a few big donations last week, but that is all going toward gas, food, car insurance and rent for my possessions sitting in Public Storage.  If anyone reading this hasn't donated and wants to, or knows of someone who can donate, please donate or pass along the link to this blog.  Even if I get hired next week, I'll still need money to get by until I get my first check.  Every little bit helps.

Thank you.

Drained.

It's been a draining week.

As annoyed as many probably were at my non-stop fundraising and E-panhandling, it took a bit out of me, to the point I feel completely drained, emotionally.  Asking for help feels inherently submissive to begin with, but asking for donations is just extra sad.

I did get a few donations. My sincerest thanks to those who donated.  I really am broke and I need gas and food to get my through until I get hired and receive my 1st paycheck.  I had an interview w/ Sam Adams here in Cincinnati a week and a half ago. I thought it went well, but it could be at least another week until I hear back from them. Last week, I drove all the way up to Columbus to take a skills test for a customer service position in a call center for a utilities company.  I should find out this week if I get invited back for an interview.  Tomorrow, I have an interview with Sugar Creek Packing Co. in Fairfield, on the northern end of Greater Cincinnati.  I figure I have a good shot at that job(QA) and then I have the call center job to fall back on if Sugar Creek doesn't hire me.  Of course, it's possible that nobody hires me.

The QA job would probably start the next week, which means I may get paid in as few as 3 weeks, but the call center job, if hired, doesn't even begin until Sept. 14th, so I won't even see a paycheck until October in that scenario... plus, I'll have to drive 100 miles and stay with family during each week until I have enough money to move.

I'll be happy if I get hired, but unfortunately, I may need a little bit more money to get by, even if I get hired.

Any donations appreciated, but I understand if you can't or won't.  I also found out that I am legally considered homeless.  I'm staying with a friend, but that is only meant to be temporary.  I guess it's just a label, but it really is a reality check that I have no place of my own.  Hopefully, I have good news this week.

Drought.

Well, the drought continues....

Last I left off, I had no unemployment and $64 to my name. Obviously, things changed, since I'm not yet homeless.  I made a 2nd appeal to unemployment and was approved, giving me a whopping $191/wk while I seek work.

There's a couple things I really need to be honest with myself about... First, is that I can't, in good faith, seek jobs requiring manual labor.  My feet and back are shot and I can't stay standing for more than 15 minutes without being in terrible pain.  I don't know if I'm just carrying too much weight, or I'm just really out of shape, or if I have legit back issues.  Regardless, my feet bruise easily and my lower back is wrecked, which makes manual labor impossible.

I grew up on a farm, so I'm no stranger to manual labor.  I don't think I was any better at it then, I just had a capacity to endure it better.  When I lost my Customer Service job in 2013, I was on unemployment for a few months and fell behind on rent. I tried to work at an Amazon Fulfillment center and lasted about 3 days. The 4th day, I couldn't even walk and had to call in.  My back was so sore at work that I spent every five minutes bent over, trying to stretch my lower back out.  

When I left that job after a week, I lost my unemployment, since you have to be let go to qualify.  That event touched off this blog and the fundraising as I ran out of money and into the very real possibility of being homeless. So if I get a McJob out of my guilt for being unemployed, it too may end the same way, so I have to be smart about what I pursue; this really only leaves me with creative work or call center jobs.

I also realized - being completely honest with myself - that some people really don't like me.  I first noticed this at an early age when we were doing square dancing in gym class and the girl that was paired up with me went to the  principal's office crying because she didn't want to do-si-do with me.  I wonder if this happens in job interviews with professional people who are much better at masking their disdain. I've done fairly well at networking on Twitter, but despite having a good rapport with several influential people, no doors were opened for me.

So I've figured that after next week's unemployment payment, I'll have enough to pay the rent a week late, and really not enough for anything else.  My internet is overdue, and I really need that to apply for jobs.  Hopefully, I can talk them into giving me another week, then the week after that is paid, my auto insurance comes out... then the next week my rent is due again, and I still need food and gas throughout the month.

I'm just barely avoiding homelessness.  I pay bills late, utilities get paid just before disconnection, and even then, just the minimum amount.  A $10 an hour job just isn't going to cut it.  I need a career position, a salary where my take home is more than rent and groceries after taxes every week.  I need to be able to pay on student loans, get healthcare and put money away.

Everything is an emergency right now and it sucks.

I know I'm smart and creative, I just need a good career start with a company willing to take a chance on me.  All I see coming my way are multi-level marketing schemes or manual labor that I literally don't have the ability or the back to stand doing,  I really need some people responding to my applications.  I'd love to do work at an ad firm, maybe copy writing, but those jobs seem sealed shut to anyone who doesn't have a marketing degree and agency related unpaid internships.

I'll keep digging, but for now, it seems the drought will continue.

See that PayPal Donate button? If you have a spare few bucks, I'd really appreciate anything you can give.  If Bill Gates is reading this, I can get an Uber car if I had $10,000 or so...