Well, the drought continues....
Last I left off, I had no unemployment and $64 to my name. Obviously, things changed, since I'm not yet homeless. I made a 2nd appeal to unemployment and was approved, giving me a whopping $191/wk while I seek work.
There's a couple things I really need to be honest with myself about... First, is that I can't, in good faith, seek jobs requiring manual labor. My feet and back are shot and I can't stay standing for more than 15 minutes without being in terrible pain. I don't know if I'm just carrying too much weight, or I'm just really out of shape, or if I have legit back issues. Regardless, my feet bruise easily and my lower back is wrecked, which makes manual labor impossible.
I grew up on a farm, so I'm no stranger to manual labor. I don't think I was any better at it then, I just had a capacity to endure it better. When I lost my Customer Service job in 2013, I was on unemployment for a few months and fell behind on rent. I tried to work at an Amazon Fulfillment center and lasted about 3 days. The 4th day, I couldn't even walk and had to call in. My back was so sore at work that I spent every five minutes bent over, trying to stretch my lower back out.
When I left that job after a week, I lost my unemployment, since you have to be let go to qualify. That event touched off this blog and the fundraising as I ran out of money and into the very real possibility of being homeless. So if I get a McJob out of my guilt for being unemployed, it too may end the same way, so I have to be smart about what I pursue; this really only leaves me with creative work or call center jobs.
I also realized - being completely honest with myself - that some people really don't like me. I first noticed this at an early age when we were doing square dancing in gym class and the girl that was paired up with me went to the principal's office crying because she didn't want to do-si-do with me. I wonder if this happens in job interviews with professional people who are much better at masking their disdain. I've done fairly well at networking on Twitter, but despite having a good rapport with several influential people, no doors were opened for me.
So I've figured that after next week's unemployment payment, I'll have enough to pay the rent a week late, and really not enough for anything else. My internet is overdue, and I really need that to apply for jobs. Hopefully, I can talk them into giving me another week, then the week after that is paid, my auto insurance comes out... then the next week my rent is due again, and I still need food and gas throughout the month.
I'm just barely avoiding homelessness. I pay bills late, utilities get paid just before disconnection, and even then, just the minimum amount. A $10 an hour job just isn't going to cut it. I need a career position, a salary where my take home is more than rent and groceries after taxes every week. I need to be able to pay on student loans, get healthcare and put money away.
Everything is an emergency right now and it sucks.
I know I'm smart and creative, I just need a good career start with a company willing to take a chance on me. All I see coming my way are multi-level marketing schemes or manual labor that I literally don't have the ability or the back to stand doing, I really need some people responding to my applications. I'd love to do work at an ad firm, maybe copy writing, but those jobs seem sealed shut to anyone who doesn't have a marketing degree and agency related unpaid internships.
I'll keep digging, but for now, it seems the drought will continue.
See that PayPal Donate button? If you have a spare few bucks, I'd really appreciate anything you can give. If Bill Gates is reading this, I can get an Uber car if I had $10,000 or so...